If you’re looking for a way to GUARANTEE you land that next deal, check out these million dollar corporate gifts.

Le Million Phone

What you get: Limited edition mobile phone made of 18 carat white gold with 120 carats of VVS-1 graded diamonds mounted on the body. Doesn’t say how many minutes are included though.

Price: $1.2 Million

Via: Digitizor

Triton Submarine

What you get: A submarine (Jets are SO last year, you know).

Price: $1,440,000

via: CNN

Mercedes Benz 1954 300 SL Gullwing

What you get: Like the coolest car EVER.

Price: $1 million

Via: RobbReport

Million Dollar Laptop

What you get: A rather ugly 17″ wide screen LED lit screen with specially designed anti-reflective glare coating, 128GB of Solid State Disk space, slot loading Blue-Ray drive, integrated screen cleaning device, very rare coloured diamond piece of jewellery power button/ security identification.

Price: $1 million

Via gizmag

Classical Fantasy Concert

What you get: The Kirov Orchestra performing their holiday favorite the Nutcracker Suite, along with the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto and another masterpiece of their choice, hosted by Regis Philbin.

Price: $1,590,000

Via: CNN

Million Dollar Fishing Lure

What you get: A 3 lb gold and platinum diamonds and ruby encrusted fish hook. Plus some super impressed fish.

Price: $1 million

Via: Gizmodo

Rocket Racing League Team

What you get: Your very own rocket racing team (with pilot).

Price: $2,000,000

Via: CNN

Tides, South Beach Million Dollar Buyout

What you get: The entire hotel for three days and two nights, including an opening ceremony, a $1,000 amenity in each guest room, dinner for 90 at the Versace Mansion, a golf outing for men and a shopping day for women, a private butler for each guest room, unlimited room service and 5 limousines on call 24-hours a day plus a private pool party with professional salsa dancers and a pajama brunch party. Then you have to go home.

Price: $1.2 million

Via: Luxist

Inverted Jenny

What you get: A stamp you can’t use.

Price: $1.25 Million

Via: Robb Report

Those with a smaller budget can check out our brilliant corporate gift ideas here. (We promise- not a logoed mug in site).